There’s nothing more attractive than the unmasked version of you- C.G. Thomas
The Many-Faced God… If you are familiar with “Game of Thrones” (HBO), then you know exactly what I’m speaking of. I have worn many faces, none of which were my own, but rather masks created by preconceived assumptions and a desire to be all things to all men. The need to be respected, accepted, and all-around liked mattered and I made it my mission to win people over. The pressure of maintaining those personas took a toll on me, both physically and emotionally. It wasn’t that I was simply wearing a mask, it was about losing myself in the process. It has taken me years of therapy, introspection, and courage to peel off those layers and reveal my true authentic self. Listen… it has been a journey of self-discovery and was worth every step.
Sure, we all adjust to situations, but altering your true self to appease others is a different ballgame. If you’re struggling to fit into a group, then maybe it’s not meant for you. That’s not your tribe. Let’s delve into how we often mask our genuine emotions. I found myself hiding behind a mask of pretend happiness to avoid losing someone. I put on a brave face when all I wanted to do was let the tears flow. I nodded in agreement when I should have shown my dissent. Now, let’s explore other kinds of masks we don to either conceal our true feelings or just to blend in.
The Mask of Conformity
Ever found yourself merely conforming to keep the peace? I’ve often found myself in that situation, tiptoeing around issues to avoid shaking the status quo. Having a unique perspective or differing opinion doesn’t mean you’re out to overshadow others. You have every right to articulate your thoughts respectfully. If they’re not welcomed, that’s their issue, not yours. You possess a voice and as long as it’s used constructively rather than destructively, you should feel free to express your thoughts and beliefs.
The Mask of Perfection
This mask was my preferred one. The mere idea of me committing a blunder would make me sick to my stomach. I put in significant effort to ensure everything was perfect on the first attempt. However, it’s important to remember that no one achieves perfection every time, especially not on the first try. I had to pause and ponder why it was so crucial for me to play the role of ‘Perfect Patty.’ Looking back, I understood that I was attempting to prove wrong all those who had doubted my capabilities. It was important for me to realize that their opinions were inconsequential. What truly mattered was whether I was accomplishing my goals – goals that were grounded in reality. That alone should be sufficient.
The Mask of Indifference
It hurt, I am vulnerable, and I want to cry. The pain is real, my defenses are down, and tears are on the brink of falling. Yet, why do we find it so challenging to acknowledge these feelings? Perhaps it’s because we’ve been conditioned to equate vulnerability with weakness, or maybe it’s the fear of being judged. We live in a society where everyone things they must be stronger than the next. This attitude negates our humanity. Pain, disappointment, and fear are all a part of the human experience, learn to embrace it.
We want approval and praise, but you may not always get it. That is an unreal expectation. I love who I have grown into. Therapy helped me see life through a very different lens. It was not an easy road and it was long. I initially started seeing my therapists in 2008 but the pain of what therapy revealed was too great so I stopped going. I continued this back and forth for years that is until the death of my son. That was a pain that broke me and if I were to continue living I knew I needed to finish the journey of healing that was started years ago. I am in such a good place and for that I am thankful. I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be Blessed.
