“Give yourself the love you so easily give to others.”
There’s a saying that women often experience a “glow-up” after a breakup. You know the story. She starts going to the gym, gets a fresh haircut, eats healthier, maybe even starts therapy. People see her newfound energy and ask, “What changed?” But the truth is, nothing magical happened. She simply started pouring some of the love she freely gave to others back into herself.
It’s not just women, either. Men go through this too. They spend years working to ensure their loved ones are happy, healthy, and taken care of, often forgetting their own needs in the process. Then, one day, they’re reminded of what it feels like to truly prioritize themselves, and it hits differently.
It’s a pattern many of us fall into. Loving your partner, your kids, and your family is a beautiful thing. But somewhere along the way, you might stop loving yourself as much as you should. You’re so busy making sure everyone else is okay that you don’t even realize you’ve put yourself at the very bottom of your list.
Why Does This Happen?
It’s easy to see how people get trapped in this cycle. Maybe you’re cooking separate meals for picky eaters, double-checking everyone’s schedules, or managing a house full of constant needs. When every moment goes toward making sure someone else is cared for, it’s no wonder that your own needs feel like an afterthought.
For women, the stereotype often involves putting their families first 24/7. For men, it can look like working long hours to provide or silently carrying the emotional load to keep everything running smoothly. These dynamics may be rooted in love, but they don’t leave much room for self-care. And when self-love takes a backseat for too long, burnout becomes almost inevitable.
The Wakeup Call
That’s where the “glow-up” comes in. For some people, it takes a breakup, a big life change, or even a period of exhaustion to realize just how much they’ve neglected themselves. They’ve been bending over backward to make sure everyone else has what they need, and in the process, they’ve forgotten how to love the person in the mirror. That’s when the gym memberships, haircut appointments, or long-overdue therapy sessions come into play.
But why wait for a wakeup call to start caring for yourself? Why wait until you’re completely drained to finally give yourself the love and energy you deserve?
Loving You AND Them
Here’s the thing. Loving others doesn’t have to mean losing yourself in the process. It’s not selfish to set aside time for the things that make you feel whole. It’s necessary. Think of it as filling your own cup so that you have more to give to everyone else later.
You don’t have to overhaul your entire life in one day to make this work. Start small. Block out thirty minutes each day for something that recharges your spirit—whether that’s reading a book, going for a walk, calling a friend, or just sitting in silence with your coffee. Be kind to yourself in the same way you’re kind to others. Remember that you deserve the same love and care that you’re constantly giving away.
It’s not about being selfish. It’s about balance. Your family, friends, and loved ones aren’t losing out when you invest in yourself. If anything, they’re getting a better, stronger, happier version of you. And that’s a win for everyone.
Keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to put yourself last. Loving others is wonderful, but loving yourself while you do it? That’s unstoppable. I hop you’ve enjoyed your view Inside the Mind of Sugar Clark.
Be blessed.
