Family is the cornerstone of a strong foundation.
C. G. Thomas
Family is considered to be the cornerstone of any strong foundation. A foundation that was built with love and grace that begins with those we esteem highly, our Matriarchs and Patriarchs. The quintessential picture of the family would consist of Holiday gatherings and family reunions, where everyone is laughing and playing games. I see the elders sitting and watching, cousins laughing and slapping each other on the back, and sticky children running all over the place. My depiction includes families that congregate to bless the new baby and warm the new house; graduation celebrations… well you get it.
What happens when your family is just the opposite? Support is replaced with backbiting and sabotage, Holiday gatherings equate to being a huge expense for a few, and children are neglected instead of celebrated. A family where success is a stigma and the desire to do better is a one-way ticket to a lonely island. How do you escape the generational curse and begin the healing process? Crucial conversations…
Having crucial conversations with family is essential for creating support systems, uncovering past traumas, and ultimately healing. The question is, how do you begin?
Support, support, support! Once those conversations begin, support is the key. With support systems in place, therapy can be sought and healing can begin. We must remember that support and love are essential for the family to become unified, strong, and prosperous. Without support the healing process will be prolonged, or worse, never happen at all. What does support look like?
Safe Space
It’s important to provide a safe space to discuss sensitive issues such as molestation, drug addiction, and abuse without gaslighting the victim. When you enter this stage of restarting the family unit you have to be willing to listen to someone else’s truth even if it differs from your version of events. Listening to gain an understanding and not simply responding will make those moments in therapy a success.
Acceptance
Realizing your family is a broken mess is the gateway to EVERYTHING! Yes, the abuse happened. Yes, your drug addiction stifled your success. Yes, your inability to abstain from sex or educate yourself influenced your current situation of having children that you struggle to provide for. Now before you assassinate the messenger please get out of your feelings and pay attention to the spirit of this post. IT HAPPENED so accept it and find a way to overcome it!
Healing
Finally, healing! Once support and acceptance are in place the healing process begins. Those conversations may be uncomfortable but they must happen for everyone to move forward. Start with a therapist to have structured sessions that focus on the hurt, anger, and resentment that has been brewing for years. Then, once the family is ready (which might take a few months or years) work to identify the root of what kept you all apart.
The conversations may be painful and ugly but they are crucial for healing and forgiveness. Once those conversations happen we can begin to support each other in ways that practice respect and love, beat drug addictions, and support an environment where prosperity abounds.
Family is important and the conversations that take place in it define its course. Make those conversations count! Make them support the vision of a healthy family unit that encourages growth and development while staying true to who you are. How are you planning on contributing to the health of your family?
I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark!
Be Blessed!
