If I must tell you that I deserve love too, surely, I am not the problem.

C.G. Thomas

Here I sit, looking at my reflection in the mirror.  The hues of my skin are dancing off the expressions of light; I take a deep breath and smile.  I am a black woman, powerful and gloriously made.  There was a time that I struggled with my self-image because it was not traditional.  I’m tall, 5’9 to be exact, with a deep skin tone and curves that sway like an ocean wave.  I love the skin I am in however it has taken years of therapy and self-love to get to this place. 

Black women have an unwavering strength and resilience but despite that we are often overlooked and undervalued.  The inhumane treatment is multi-faceted and extends to appearance, relationships, and medical care.   Let’s explore ways that we can acknowledge the lack of respect for black woman and make the changes necessary to show support and solidarity.

We are the protype

I’ve seen numerous social media posts and watched countless videos perpetuating the negative rhetoric about the desirability of Black women and I can’t help but roll my virtual eyes. Yes, there may be some studies out there, probably skewed, and biased, that try to support this foolishness, however let me set the record straight: Black women are not only desirable, but we are also the epitome of beauty and grace.

We are the prototype, the standard that others try to emulate. Both men and women spend fortunes to enhance their appearance and mirror our image. From our radiant skin to our stunning features, there is no denying the allure of a Black queen.

So, let’s debunk those outdated stereotypes and embrace our undeniable beauty. We don’t need anyone else’s validation because we know our worth.

Love’s embrace

We are soft, agreeable, affectionate, nurturing and very deserving of those same emotions and actions being reciprocated.  We are marriage material!  Here are a few statistics; According to the oh-so-reliable United States Census Bureau, they’ve crunched the numbers and here’s what they found. Hold on to your hats, folks, because in 2020, Black men took the crown as the largest demographic of adults who had never been married. A whopping 51.4% of them fell into that category, while the Black queens held steady at 47.5%. Now, before you accuse me of throwing shade at our handsome Black men, let me clarify this is just a little reminder that we, as fabulous Black women, have a higher likelihood of strutting down that aisle.

Behind this seemingly impenetrable exterior lies a delightful creature, but here’s the secret sauce: you must speak her language, my friend. An article published in Psychology Today, protection, provisions, love, and intimacy are just a few of the things that make our hearts flutter.  We’re not asking for anything outrageous; we want what all women want. Yes, we may be a tad more independent, but that doesn’t mean we’re any less deserving of love and care. So, step up to the plate, embrace your inner gentleman, and tap into that language that makes us weak in the knees.

 We Bleed too!

Let’s talk about the poor standard of medical care black women receive.  It’s like someone somewhere made up the lie that we have the exterior of Superman.  Yes, we have superpowers, but we are not “Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!” or whatever that saying was on The Adventures of Superman.  Black women receive lower-quality medical care at much higher rates than any other demographic of woman with our frailty often being overlooked. 

An article published in the Mayo Clinic Press noted that black women were 2.6 times more likely to die from child-birth related conditions than our white counterparts.  The article further stated that this statistic increases with age as black women 25 and older have a pregnancy related mortality rate of more than four-times that of white women.

We are deserving of proper care and although this topic is being discussed more, we have yet to reach the level of awareness needed to ensure health equality.  I am a firm believer that self-advocation is more powerful than having someone speak for you but there is power in numbers.  If your healthcare professional is providing you subpar care speak up.  You are not required to accept anything less.

Listen, this is just the beginning of the conversation. Let’s continue to explore, learn, and take action to embrace and respect Black women, recognizing the immense value they bring to our communities and society.  I hope you have enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.

Be Blessed!