“Pain is an accredited teacher”
C.G. Thomas
It’s extremely humid, I’m a bit tipsy, and in deep conversation with my inner circle. The topic is one that has made me ponder on the why of a million situations that I’ve either overcome or still trying to gain clarity on. Is pain necessary for growth?
Yes pain is a necessary part of growth, at least this was the general consensus for the majority of the circle, give or take a few. This is the response I expected as almost every situation I’ve encountered of great importance has hurt like the dickens to get through. The pain is what kept me from falling into a cycle of repetition.
What gave me pause were the unexpected “no’s”. Surely life’s major lessons had to be accompanied by pain, after all aren’t they supposed to hurt a little? Have I been borrowing trouble as it relates to growth? As I listened a little more I begin to tear apart some recent situations… Hindsight is 20/20 and some lessons could have been learned with a little less sting. The saying is “we do better when we know to do better”. Let’s see how my circle and I could have done better…
But I want it!
“OOOOh!!!” is what I said to myself as I looked at the shiny new car I wanted to get. I was super excited at even the thought of driving around in something so beautiful. The funny thing is, I didn’t need it. The car I had was perfectly fine, no damage, and very affordable. “But I want it” and by hook or crook I was determined to get it, however I had not counted up the costs.
Beautiful people you do know there is a cost associated with trying to live up to the standards of others right? I wanted to look as if I had arrived, I wanted to look like I could buy the world when in all actuality I was just a few steps above the poor house. My conscious pleaded with me to walk away but my pride wouldn’t let me. I sat down and signed my name to the dotted line and sealed a fate that would take me years to recover from.
Lesson learned with extreme pain. This could have been avoided if I had thought about the reason for wanting a new car. It was solely about appearances and not that of need. Trying to pay multiple car notes with limited income was extremely difficult. Never again! Now I am extremely cautious of what I purchase, additionally if I can’t pay for it with cash I avoid it until I can. I have very limited debt now which consist of a very reasonable mortgage, that is it and that is all. I learned living like the Jones’ will have you robbing Peter to pay Paul.
He is BEAUTIFUL
Now this is the story of many women not just those in my circle. We meet someone and every fiber of our being says RUN but the beauty of his presence, fullness of his lips, and conniving words draw you in like a moth to a flame. You and I know he is not the one, more than likely he is a hobosexual coming to wreak havoc in your life but you have to have him. Why? The turmoil that comes with being yoked to the wrong person can be devastating yet we throw caution to the wind and take the bait. I say this with sincerity “NOT I SAID THE BLACK ASS CAT”, I’ve experienced enough pain in that area. In the words of my mother” there is nothing like a bought lesson” and I have paid dearly with tears to boot.
How do we avoid pain if it is a requirement of growth? Great question! I’m placing my decision somewhere in the middle of “yes and no”. Somethings will always be painful and others are avoidable. Let me clarify, there are some situations that you never saw coming. All was well with the world and suddenly a boulder fell from the sky and landed on you. There were no warnings and no signs to help you gauge the amount of danger you were in be it mentally, emotionally, or physically. You were blindsided. There are other situations that we were well aware of the blowback that would come with a specific decision yet we jumped in head first anyway, these are the lessons we need to avoid. Listen to your inner being, be mindful of the energy you feel and take some time to really think things through before finalizing what could be a very painful situation.
So to answer my initial question “Is pain required for growth”, my answer is it does not have to hurt all the time but when it does take the lesson and move on. I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be blessed!
