Holding onto a grudge is like standing in the rain; offering grace is opening the umbrella.
Have you ever found yourself scrolling through TikTok, only to stumble upon a video that makes your heart sink a little? I saw one the other day that stuck with me. A young person was airing out a disagreement with their parents, detailing every frustration for the world to see and judge. The comments section was a mix of validation and shared grievances. While I understand the need to feel heard, I couldn’t help but think about the other side of the screen—the parents.
It’s easy to get caught up in our own feelings and perspectives. When we feel wronged or misunderstood, our first instinct is often to seek validation, and social media offers it instantly. But in this rush to share our side, we can forget a crucial ingredient for healthy relationships: grace.
Our parents are human. That’s a simple truth, but one we often forget. They’ve made mistakes, and they’ll probably make more. They didn’t get a manual on how to raise us perfectly. They were learning on the job, juggling their own fears, dreams, and shortcomings while trying to do their best for us. Putting our disagreements on public display can feel powerful in the moment, but it flattens a complex, lifelong relationship into a single, negative snapshot. It robs them of their context and their humanity.
Before we hit “post,” it’s worth pausing to practice empathy. What would it feel like to be in their shoes? Try to see the situation from their perspective, considering the pressures they face and the intentions they likely had. Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or excuse hurtful behavior. It simply means you’re willing to look beyond your own pain to acknowledge theirs. It’s in that space that understanding can begin to grow.
Relationships, especially family ones, are messy. They require do-overs. Sometimes we need to extend a second, third, or even a fourth chance. We all stumble. We all say the wrong thing. We all need the opportunity to get it right. Holding onto grudges only weighs us down, while offering forgiveness can set us free.
This isn’t a new concept. It reminds me of the story in the Bible when Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who wronged him. Seven times? Jesus’s reply is powerful: “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
He wasn’t suggesting we keep a running tally up to 490. He was making a point about the nature of forgiveness—it should be boundless. It’s a continuous act of releasing resentment and choosing love instead. This applies to our friends, our partners, and yes, even our parents.
Offering grace doesn’t make you weak; it makes you wise. It’s choosing connection over conflict and understanding over judgment. The next time you feel that urge to put a private disagreement on a public stage, maybe take a breath. Consider a different path—one of conversation, empathy, and limitless grace. You might be surprised by the healing that follows. I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be blessed!
