“Earn me”
C.G. Thomas
I sat looking at myself in the mirror while I prepared for my date. My hair was flawless, lips were popping, and I was dressed to kill. I stood and took a quick glance at the asset that had been passed down to all the women in my family and sashayed out of the bathroom. I was stoked at the thought of meeting the guy that I had been conversing with for the past couple of months… I smiled at the thought of our tête-à-têtes and got excited all over again. Fast forward, dinner was great, conversation was stimulating, and the wine was sweet; you can pretty much say that my outlook about this guy was really good. I had a feeling this could be my person that is, until the following words fell from his lips “So, can we go back to your place and finish the night off?” “Womp, womp, womp” is all I heard after that question…
I’m sure this story is similar to many other tales that start off so promising but ends before you can get to know each other. I used to tell myself things like, well maybe he was just not the one but, is that really the case? Could dating have evolved to be similar to a fast food experience? You know, a pull up at the drive through, submit and receive your order, then enjoy your meal kind of thing? When did men stop being chivalrous, opening doors, and sending flowers? Listen, let me go ahead and stop the sarcastic Susans before they even get started… yes I am aware that every man is not this way, and we all know that your husband or boyfriend spent a grip on valentine’s day to make you feel special but guess what, your experience is not the same as most women. Consider yourself blessed and send up a prayer for the ones that are still on the market. This is also for the men that may be reading, if you still carry these qualities please know that you are a dying breed and ummmm… I’m not talking about you.
Now that I have those disclaimers out of the way let me get back to the topic at hand, what happened to dating with a purpose? No I’m not talking about a get someone in the bed as quickly as possible kind of purpose but, a “Happily Ever After” kind of purpose. I know women have progressed to the point of not specifically needing a man to thrive financially and more than 60 percent of women no longer believe in marriage but that does not negate the fact that a few of us still do. I have a few thoughts on why dating has become such a chore…..
Quicker is not better
Technology has conditioned the human race to want what they want when they want it and receive it when they want it. Patience is out the window along with respect and the same applies to dating. That quicker thing bit me in the ass and I can tell you NEVER AGAIN! I married someone that I should never have spoken to and ended up paying dearly. Take your time to get to know the person you are dealing with… there is nothing wrong with FaceTime chats for a few weeks before meeting them out. Bring back the art of getting to know a person outside of physical touch.
I don’t own a “Ho” card
Ok, I have an asset that will make heads turn (seriously, like for real)… I wear fitted jeans and when I am out my face is usually beat to the Gods… I might even bounce it up and down a little, but guess what that does not mean I want to bounce it on you! I am a woman first and I walk in my female prowess with confidence but guess what… that does not mean I want to bounce on you! Ladies stop giving all your good stuff to any and every one because some people are not worthy. Yes I understand that some women prefer a sexual relationship over one with quality nowadays but not everyone. I enjoy sex just like the next woman but if I just met you please understand that I am not interested in bouncing on you on the first date. I’m not that other lady… and no you can’t have me!
She don’t need a man syndrome
We have evolved to the point of being financially independent. I am extremely financially sound and gainfully employed but guess what, I need a man. Nope I don’t need for you to pay my bills but guess what… if you are a man that is used to providing for a woman PAY THE F@@@@@@G BILLS! My independence should have nothing to do with who you are as a man. If you are a provider, provide even if she earns more. Stop with this “what about me” “ish” because it is not attractive… hell man up.
Listen, we are all different but I can tell you that everyone wants someone genuine in their life. Everyone wants to be loved and provided for on some level and if you meet someone that says different I will show you a liar. Men, we still want flowers, forehead kisses, and most of all, your time. When you see a lady, treat a lady well and know the difference.
I hope you have enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be Blessed!
