You’ve given the offense way too much power. Take it back!
C. G. Thomas
Accountability, accountability, accountability…. This is the new trend; holding others accountable. The funny thing is, you don’t have the power to make anyone feel sorry and or apologize for the mental, physical, or emotional harm they have done to you. It’s a nice thought, right?
I watched a short on one of the many social media platforms that spoke about how children should stop trying to punish their parents for how they may have been mistreated and or neglected in their childhood. I perused through the comments and was taken aback at how many people lacked the ability to take charge of their healing and are still allowing the trauma to be a decision maker in their current lives. Why would anyone give an offense that much power?
This is in no way “judgement” for how anyone manages their emotions but it is my input on how to heal when the apology you need and deserve may never come.
How do you go on? It’s not always easy but if it’s something you want bad enough, it will be worth it in the long run to make the decision to work through the hurt, but how? Here are a few methods I put in place to take back my power after an offense.
Validation is not required:
When someone hurts us, one of the first things we do is seek validation and acknowledgement from that person in order to feel better. This is a natural reaction but it can also keep us stuck in the pain. I’ve found that, for me, seeking validation from the person who hurt me does nothing more than give them power. It keeps you attached to them and allows them to continue hurting you. I like it to a game of “Hot Potato”, the longer you hold on, the more pain you feel. Let go. It doesn’t mean that what happened was okay or that your feeling are not valid it just means that you refuse to allow someone else’s actions to determine your happiness.
Seek Therapy:
This one is a biggie, especially if the pain you are experiencing is stemming from a traumatic experience. I cannot stress enough how beneficial therapy can be! It provides a safe space for you to express what happened and begin to work through the emotions associated with it without judgement. A therapist will also help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the overwhelming feelings that often cripple your ability to thrive.
Remember Their Humanity:
They are human . Just like you, they make mistakes. It’s easy to forget this when we are in pain but it is important to remember that no one is perfect. Everyone is capable of causing harm, even if they don’t mean to. I’m not saying give them a green light to continue the disrespect I am saying give yourself the space and time to have a good life in spite of the offense.
Listen trauma is real and has the ability to steal the life you were meant to have but only if you allow it. Accountability starts with you and you don’t need validation to take back your power. Take control of your life and let go of the apology that never came. You are worth it.
I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be Blessed!
