Perfection is simply what brings you peace.
C. G. Thomas
“If I knew then what I know now…” The words drifted through my mind as I looked at an old photograph from years ago. In it, everything looked just right—the smiling faces, the tidy background, the coordinated outfits. To anyone glancing at it, it probably looked like a snapshot of a perfect life. But I remember the story behind the picture: the frantic rush to get ready, the squabble just moments before the camera clicked, and the pressure I felt to capture something flawless.
It’s a phrase I’ve repeated more times than I can count, and I’m sure you can relate. We spend so much of our time and energy chasing an idea of perfection that society hands to us. We see it in magazines, on our social media feeds, and in the stories we tell ourselves about what success and happiness should look like. For years, I believed that if I could just get all the pieces to fit perfectly, I would finally feel content.
But I’ve learned something profound on my journey: perfection isn’t a destination you arrive at. It’s a feeling you cultivate from within. The real truth is that the idea of a single, universal “perfect life” is a myth. And letting go of that myth is one of the most freeing things you can do for your soul.
The Problem with Chasing Someone Else’s ‘Perfect’
How many times have you compared your life to someone else’s? Maybe it was a friend’s new promotion, a neighbor’s pristine home, or a stranger’s picture-perfect vacation online. When we do this, we’re measuring our own reality against a curated highlight reel. We see the polished result, not the messy, complicated, and beautifully imperfect process that it took to get there.
I spent a good portion of my life trying to live up to these external expectations. I thought a perfect life meant having a spotless house, a calendar full of social events, and never showing a moment of weakness. But trying to maintain that facade was exhausting. It left me feeling like I was constantly falling short, focusing on what was missing rather than appreciating what I had.
The danger of chasing this one-size-fits-all version of perfection is that it forces you to abandon your own unique path. It asks you to quiet your own desires and ignore what truly brings you joy in favor of what you think you should want. You end up trying to fit into a mold that was never designed for you.
Perfection Is in the Eye of the Beholder
Here is the secret I wish I could whisper to my younger self: Perfection is entirely subjective. What feels perfect to you might look like chaos to someone else, and that is more than okay. In fact, it’s beautiful. Your perfect life is defined by what brings you peace, joy, and a sense of purpose. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Think about it. For one person, a perfect evening is a quiet night at home with a good book and a cup of tea. For another, it’s a bustling dinner party filled with laughter and friends. One person’s dream home is a minimalist apartment in the city, while another’s is a sprawling farmhouse with a garden. Neither is better than the other. They are just different versions of perfect.
The moment you stop measuring your life with someone else’s ruler is the moment you can start building a life that is authentically yours. It’s about giving yourself permission to honor what makes your heart sing, even if it doesn’t fit the popular narrative.
How to Embrace Your Own Version of Perfect
Letting go of societal pressure is a practice, not a one-time decision. It takes patience and a whole lot of self-compassion. Here are a few things that have helped me find my way.
1. Define Your ‘Perfect’: Take some time to really think about what a perfect life feels like to you. Not what it looks like, but how it feels. Does it feel peaceful? Adventurous? Creative? Connected? Write down those feelings. Let them become your guideposts. When you make decisions, ask yourself if they align with those core feelings.
2. Practice Gratitude for the ‘Imperfect’: Your life, right now, is filled with moments of perfection that you might be overlooking. The messy kitchen is a sign of a meal shared with loved ones. The pile of laundry means you have clothes to wear. The wrinkles forming around your eyes are from years of laughter. Start looking for the beauty in the everyday, messy, and imperfect moments. They are the true substance of a well-lived life.
3. Curate Your Influences: Be mindful of what you consume. If scrolling through social media leaves you feeling inadequate, it might be time to unfollow accounts that trigger comparison. Fill your feed—and your life—with people and ideas that inspire you and make you feel good about who you are. Surround yourself with those who celebrate you for you, not for who they think you should be.
4. Celebrate Your Uniqueness: I would tell my younger self to stop being afraid to be different. The world doesn’t need another copy; it needs you. Your quirks, your passions, your unique way of seeing the world—these are your greatest strengths. Embrace them. A life that is authentically yours is the most perfect life you can live.
If It’s Perfect to You, It’s Perfect
That old photograph still sits on my shelf, but I see it differently now. I no longer see the frantic rush or the pressure. Instead, I see a moment in time, a part of my story. It’s a reminder that life is a collection of messy, beautiful, and heartfelt moments, not a performance for an invisible audience.
So, I invite you to lay down the burden of chasing a flawless existence. Your life doesn’t need to look perfect to be wonderful. It just needs to feel right to you. If your quiet, simple life brings you peace, it is perfect. If your loud, chaotic, adventurous life makes you feel alive, it is perfect.
Don’t let anyone else tell you what your happiness should look like. You are the artist of your own life. Paint it with the colors that make you happy. I hope you’ve enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark!
Be Blessed
