“Tears are an expression of what was lost”
C.G. Thomas
We are in the age of the self-proclaimed relationship expert and self-love coach. If you scroll through your social media accounts you will find quote after quote of how you should love yourself more than anything and encouragement to be unapologetically you. I have a huge problem with all the self-help advice because it negates the one thing that will put a monkey wrench into your plans of overcoming your latest crush every time… the heart.
The heart will betray your intellect time and time again, why, because it does not know the difference.
Picture this… I am standing in my kitchen pouring a glass of wine. Tears were on the verge of erupting from my eyes, I was indeed ready to cry quarts. I took a deep breath, hoping to calm myself and dry up the faucets that were about to erupt. I was home alone so I could not understand why I was struggling with letting them flow and I was embarrassed. The resounding words of women past were ringing in my ears…
“Girl you don’t need him”, “You can do better”, “he was not any good anyway”, and lastly “You are better off without him”
Sister circle guess what, your words are not encouraging to the heart. Remember the heart wants what the heart wants so nothing you can say will help it decipher the difference between a good man and a bad one. In all actuality the heart is questioning every word uttered out of your mouth concerning its love. The heart sees love even when it is nowhere close. Deceit does not sever the connection the heart has to a person and shaming the person that left only angers the heart.
Ladies, it is perfectly ok to shed tears and grieve what could have been. See for me it was never the man that I cried over, it was always the dream that was lost that tore at my heart. The dream of stability and an end to loneliness. Circle, stop shaming your sisters when they are hurting because of a breakup. It is perfectly fine to cry. Sometimes we just need for you to listen and hug us through the pain. Also, stop man bashing, even when he is a piece of trash because the heart does not know the difference.
Lastly, cry, throw things, and scream if you need to. Get it all out because you can’t stay there. I have no clue how long it will take to get through and over the heartbreak but you have to. I don’t want to end this without letting you know that the heart can also grow stale and cold if you keep throwing it in the ring. Take some time and equip yourself, take ownership for why you keep ending up in broken relationship after broken relationship before you get back out there.
I hope you have enjoyed your view inside the mind of Sugar Clark.
Be Blessed.
